The person that you’re marrying, do you love them unconditionally?

Do you realise that they are a fallible human being with imperfections?

Are you kind to them?

Of course you are.  We would never, ever want to undermine the confidence of the people we love or impact on their self worth by picking away at their ‘flaws’.  Love means accepting the other person and not trying to change them. You look at, and love, the whole person.

So why do so many of us neglect to extend the same kindness to ourselves?  We reduce ourselves to the sum of our parts. We reduce ourselves to our perceived imperfections. Self esteem is slowly built and just as quickly demolished, based on compliance with an idea of beauty that is forced upon us. We believe in a need to be perfect.

And then you’re getting married but you don’t like your arms / legs / bum / belly / chin and those things are all going to be photographed all day, on your wedding day.

Your photographer, though, can make photos of you that you love, even though you don’t love yourself, can’t they? A professional photographer’s photos of you will be different to the pictures that your mates take and you’ll be different in your wedding pictures, won’t you?Kew Gardens Pre Wedding Photography

You will, if you let go. Relax and enjoy your wedding day. Because guess what? Relaxed and happy people look relaxed and happy on camera.

Bridget and Nigel smaller-11
You’ll be different because of the way you FEEL while your wedding pictures are being taken.

You’ll radiate happiness and sunbeams will burst out of your face because you’ll be having an awesome time, surrounded by all of your favourite people.

happy

A professional photographer knows how best to capture that relaxed happiness.  A good photographer knows how to capture those moments that led to the happiness in the first place.

We are not magicians though.

We can’t take away all of those negative thoughts you have about yourself.  We can’t make you love yourself, if you don’t.  As Jenny Jimenez once said, “if you don’t like your self, you probably won’t like my photos of you” and that’s the truth.

So how can you love your wedding pictures, if you don’t love yourself?

You have two options.

Firstly start by looking at the bigger picture.  The story of the day.  The moments that are represented.  Those sunbeams bursting out of your face.

Laura Babb-2

Do your wedding pictures show the love and happiness that you FELT on the day of your wedding?

Do your wedding pictures catapult you back to the moment when you said ‘I do’ to your best friend?

Do your pictures remind you of the whole spectrum of emotions you felt on the day?

alternative creative documentary reportage wedding photography-1

A good wedding photographer will capture all of that and more.  When I look back at my own wedding pictures they transport me right back into each moment that they capture.  There are a whole load of holes I could pick in the way I look but I don’t, because I was really bloody happy and it shows in the massive grin I had on my face all day.

festival wedding photographerImage by Camera Hannah.  I miss my amazing wedding hair and flower crown.

And the second option?  You could actually learn to love yourself.  Or at least like yourself.

My awesome friend Cheyenne is a big proponent of self love.  She’s one of the biggest advocates of body positivity I know (she even let me photograph her naked ) and here’s what she has to say about loving yourself:

“Tough love. That’s how I handle this whole ‘self love’ situation. Bottom line is this: YOU NEED TO GET OVER YOURSELF. Doesn’t matter if you’re a size 0 or a size 90000908798 – you are beautiful and you need to know that. You need to step back and get out of your head. Those stretch marks? Those boney knees? That rib cage popping out? That roll that rolls around when you sit down?”

“LITERALLY NO ONE IS LOOKING AT THOSE THINGS BUT YOU”

“Take me, for instance – I’m 5’7.5” tall. I weigh 175 pounds. I have really long legs and arms and a short torso. I carry my weight in my torso. I have rolls. I have a lot more rolls when I sit down. I have stretch marks on my boobs, on my love handles and on my bum. I have big boobs and a small bottom.  Growing up I hated my body. I HATED what I saw in the mirror and I certainly couldn’t bare to look at myself in pictures. I would sit up all night crying and clawing at my belly wishing it would just go away and that I could look like Keira Knightly (yes, she was who I wanted to be). Then I went to college, gained 35 pounds and even though it has been a long, difficult journey, I fell in love with myself.
Every roll, every stretch mark, ever jiggle with every step – I love it. I know I’m beautiful. I’m not afraid to admit it. I shouldn’t have to be afraid to admit it.”

“AND YOU SHOULDN’T EITHER”

“You’re a fox”

“Your wedding is going to be one of the most important days of your freaking life!! It doesn’t matter who your photographer is – YOU, your partner, and YOUR LOVE are going to be the pieces of the puzzle that make your pictures indescribably beautiful. The only way that can happen is if you put aside what are, in your own mind, your ‘flaws’”body positivity weddingA Best creative Wedding Photographer UK113contemporary documentary wedding shot of children at weddingbrixton east wedding photographer-23The best way to love yourself in your wedding pictures is to love yourself full stop, and look at the bigger picture.  Have THE BEST time at your wedding.  Enjoy every minute.  Smile.  It’s as simple as that.  Let go of your expectations, forget about perfection and BE HAPPY.
Danby Castle Wedding Katy Ross-9

If you’d like me to document your happiness in all it’s glory, get in touch.

Comments

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real moments, captured creatively.

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June 3rd 2015
Bang on. I am going to share, share and care.
Reply
    June 4th 2015
    Thanksssss, Rowan.
    Reply
Great article! Agree with everything and certainly changes the way you think about things. Sam x
Reply
    June 4th 2015
    Thanks, Sam and thanks for stopping by.
    Reply
June 5th 2015
Love this post Laura! Such great advice
Reply
    June 5th 2015
    Thanks Kelly
    Reply
June 5th 2015
Spot on, Laura. Hope this article reaches and resonates with many a beautiful but unconfident bride (or groom!)
Reply
    June 7th 2015
    Thank you so much, Lindsey and thanks for popping by.
    Reply
Sarah
June 5th 2015
Bloody LOVED reading this....!! Every single point...yes yes yes...well said :) x
Reply
    June 7th 2015
    Thanks so much, Sarah
    Reply
June 12th 2015
This is utterly brilliant, and so perceptive. If you don't mind, I'm going to share this with my brides - once they've already booked me, of course ;-) x
Reply
    June 13th 2015
    Ha of course! Thanks, Pat.
    Reply
June 18th 2015
Great advice Laura x
Reply
    June 26th 2015
    Thanks Gen
    Reply
[…] As an aside you might want to have a read of my “How to love yourself in your wedding pictures post” […]
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April 28th 2016
A link to this post popped on my news feed today - what a great write up!! Thank you Laura, perfectly put and fantastic, emotive images used throughout. I couldn't agree more with the message xx
Reply
    April 29th 2016
    Thanks for stopping by, Aga
    Reply

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